whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
