can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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