i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
