I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
