Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i out mim tonsoeep
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