hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
