I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
