Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ok first of all what the fuck
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
