Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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