its not stalking. its research.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
