smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
