Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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