ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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