I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize