Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward

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(616): View more from Michigan

you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed

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(330): View more from Ohio

would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight

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(716): View more from New York

For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.

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(607): View more from New York

Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.

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(315): View more from New York

Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.

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