Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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