She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
