I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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