I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
