Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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