This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
