There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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