elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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