I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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