drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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