my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
COCAINE IS GR8
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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