I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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