I'm going to jail i love you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
