hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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