I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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