How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
