yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
