I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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