So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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