My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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