this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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