I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
