dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
