yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
