She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
