i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
