The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
