Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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