she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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