I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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