you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
