I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Randomize
