so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize