The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize