i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
