well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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