did you get engaged???
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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