just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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