At least make sure they are 18
Why
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
