My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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