I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
