nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
