This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
