So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize