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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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