Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
