i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
