even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
