How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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