I heard we made out
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
