hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize