im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
