Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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