I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
